We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
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