so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
