She said her name was "party"
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
40s are totally the cure
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
