I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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