look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
