I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
What a dumb baby whore.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
