Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
