the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Two words: nipple clamps
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