if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
