this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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