he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
