At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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