Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
