Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
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