Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
