We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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