Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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