I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Randomize
