i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize