Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We don't watch enough power rangers
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
