Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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