I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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