How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
