Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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