He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize