I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
