marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
