too bad you live with your parents still
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
