probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Come on in and take your pants off
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