420 ftw
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
