I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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