The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I puked a lego.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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