he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
