Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize