There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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