Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
