my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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