She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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