butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
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