she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
