is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
