so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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