Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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