dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
