Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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