Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
