just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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