Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
