Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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