I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
