If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
