So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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