i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize