I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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