woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
should my penis look like a turkey
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
The feeling are messing with the penis
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
