HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
