Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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