i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
