Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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