I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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