i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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