The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
