I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
