it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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