id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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